Many of us do not remember when exactly we “became” our mothers or other significant
women in our lives, but it has always been happening. We are constantly being moulded into the modernised versions of our sisters, aunts and grandmothers. Whether through books, relations or observations, daily our identities are shaped by these women’s lives.
The passing down of generational trauma does not take place in some grandiose manner. There is no big event where young and old women are gathered, and the older women hand over their heartbreaking experiences in a basket for the younger generation to carry over into their lives. If anything, it is through the shared experiences of unfortunate and oppressive events that we come to learn, we are no different from our mothers as we thought we were.
For African women, we are either raised by the women who embody the storm that rages fiercely in response to their trauma or the women who are the quiet that softly knits together the strands of healing within reach to them. African women have been subjected to various forms of trauma, including colonisation, slavery, war, and systemic oppression, which have been passed down from one generation to the next. This inherited trauma is one we know all too well.
That being acknowledged, trauma is not our only inheritance from our mothers. We have been given the gift of imagination and the creativity to craft new and better experiences for ourselves. We have witnessed community gatherings around the kitchen, where many were torn down whilst some were comforted. We heard the whispers of gossip that seemed to knit them together. The mischievous laughter as they shared with each other tips on how to access pleasure for themselves. Whatever the event was that gathered these women together, the lesson being taught was clear. Whatever we collectively imagined and set our intentions towards, we could achieve.
The groundwork has already been laid. We have had glimpses of the power of community and radical joy. To know ourselves as human, is to know we have every right to intimately know BOTH pain and joy. Not one or the other. Sadly, the world we live in seems to have been designed to give us ease of access to pain. We have to intentionally labour for the joyful and pleasurable experience of life.
Comentarios